Compromise and priorities - work, home and family

I feel as if I've been lost in the haze of school holidays!  It is lovely having the boys at home - playing, chatting and learning with them - but I feel as if I've lost my routine and can't fit in all the work and home tasks around the family.

I had a little panic attack the other day because I wasn't ready for my next term of teaching/dancing (lesson plans, choreographies and performances) and I was't able to get closer to ready because I needed to be with the boys and I couldn't just sit and play with the boys because I needed to do a multitude of jobs around the home and somewhere in there I needed to find time for me! Aaaagh!

So I took a spot of me time first (cup of tea) and thought about it.  As most stay at home mums would agree, there is very little time for thumb twiddling in our daily routines.  While my children are at school: I do the grocery shopping; clean and tidy the house; work in the garden (both for visual appeal and for growing food); plan meals and gardening calenders; pay bills and budget; cook food for that day and for the week ahead (all from scratch); wash/sort/mend clothes for the famil;, shop for any items that we need; make the homemade presents that we give; and do all the preparation that my part time job requires.  I also take some time for me - to see friends, read/write blogs and sometimes craft for my own pleasure.  I believe that the role as housewife/homemaker is a full time job, and my family and I are all very happy with the way the roles in our family work.

But every time my husband has holidays or there are school holidays, a spanner gets thrown in the works.  How am I supposed to get through all of the things on my list when I also need to spend time with them?  I want to spend time with them.... I love spending time with my family and my kids are growing up way too quickly to miss.  So something has to give.  Holidays are a time for compromise.

I chose to do less preparation for next term and to spend less time on my personal things - I'll find time when the boys go back to school.  In return, the kids have helped me with some of my jobs, and they are great at entertaining themselves while I'm busy.  And this weekend, Stu has helped me get through the list of homemaking tasks so that the burden feels somewhat lighter.

Slinky apples and a 'Where's Wally' puzzle - perfect family time!

My little mountain climbers!

And because of that, we've been able to enjoy the holidays, while still meeting our family's needs.

We've been to the library and the shops.  We bought new school shoes and pottered in the toy section of the shops.  Lachlan came with me while I donated blood (he wanted to see what happened and was a great support person).  We have all chipped in on a puzzle and played board games.  We spent the day at the Fun4Kids festival (courtesy of me teaching two workshops there), where the boys rockclimbed, fenced, cooked, hammered, danced and played until we were all exhausted.  We've written and read lots of stories and had cuddles galore.  We've been for walks and played in the garden.  And we've had time to just 'be' in each others company.

I've remembered that being a homemaker/housewife is a full time job, but it stems from being a wife and a mummy and they have to come first.  I wrote the title of this post before and find it interesting the way I wrote it - work, home, family.  We need to remember our priorities are the other way around - family, home and then work.  My boys aren't babies anymore, but think I should print myself a copy of this old poem - especially for school holidays.

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth

empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

hang out the washing and butter the bread,

sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Linking up with the Accidental Housewife today for a housewifely post - perfect timing Mrs A - just when I felt like writing about being a housewife... :o)